


How feelings bloom

by hadesisrad



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Internalized Homophobia, Love Confessions, M/M, and the rest of the goup isn't here either, they're not idols here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-03 00:03:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21170102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hadesisrad/pseuds/hadesisrad
Summary: In a small town where everyone knows everyone, Felix and Changbin are best friends, or so Felix thinks. But Changbin is in love with him, and Felix has a girlfriend.Here's what happened once the words 'I love you' end up floating between them.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [L'éclosion des sentiments](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18548716) by [hadesisrad](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hadesisrad/pseuds/hadesisrad). 

> Hiya ! This is a translation that has been requested and im so happy it has !  
Now I'm studying english so please be indulgent if you spot any mistakes :3

It was honestly complicated. His entire being ached every time he set his eyes on Felix, and yet, Changbin only ever aspired to hold him. Gaze tender fixated on his blond best friend, Changbin allowed is mind to wander, so far that he didn't register the look of worry that settled on Felix's face.

"You alright ?" Felix asked. "Changbin ? Everything is fine ?" 

Changbin smiled hearing his name bringing him back to reality.

"Yes, yes I'm fine." A heavy sigh fell from his lips. "Felix ?"

"Uhm?"

"I love you."

"I love you too bro." Felix answered passing a hand through his blond hair with a dashing smile.

Changbin chuckled, understanding the misunderstanding.

"No-" he sat on the grass he had been laying on "- I  _ love _ you. As in I am in love with you, Felix."

Felix froze and, seemingly less surprised than what Changbin had expected, he sat alongside his best friend on the sheet they had taken with them on their afternoon in the fields.

"Well," began the blond, "out of everyone, I think I'm probably the only one that never thought that you'd fall in love with me. I'm flattered, really, but you know ... I mean ..."

"You're straight and have a girlfriend." Chanbin finished.  
"Yeah about that..." Felix seemed agitated, and a slight blush had creeped its way to his cheeks. "I'm probably single, judging the way Julia ended our last argument."

"And how did it end?"

"She ran off yelling that I liked spending time with you more than I liked her and she almost choked on her jealousy. She also said that she didn't want to see me again, so yeah."

Changbin hid his smile, not-so-secretly happy to know that Julia was no longer in the way of his dreamed relationship with Felix, even though he kind of always liked the girl. 

"I'm sorry." He said.

"No you're not." Felix answered. "She's got a point anyway."

Changbin mentally slapped himself for the flicker of hope that he was so desperately clinging to. But he refused to let it go when he asked :

"Any peculiar reason why you would bring up your relationship status right after my confession ?"

"Actually yeah." Felix paused and starred at the trees surrounding the empty field they were  sunbathing in. "I've though of it you know? You loving me.  _ Never _ thought it would happen but I've thought of it. Actually you know what? I never thought of it as much as I'm  thinking of it now, which only makes sense, but ..."

"Felix ..." Changbin interrupted him feeling his friend's train of thoughts derailing.

"No, let me finish. What I'm trying to say is that you ... you are very precious to me, you make everything worthwhile and I'm having the time of my life whenever we hang out. You are my best friend, and maybe... maybe... Hell, Changbin, maybe I want you to be more." 

Pause.

"What, you want me to be your brother? That's where this is heading?" Changbin said with his face set on his 'dead serious' expression.

Felix threw him the blades of grass he had been plucking and laughed his really loud laugh, the one that never failed to remind Changbin of how in deep he truly was.

"Oh come on! You know what I mean!" The blond laughed.

"Yeah yeah I know." Changbin had a hard time realizing the door that Felix had just opened, but he knew better than to let it close. Only this time, he, who would run head first into every closed door if they were only unlocked, decided to be careful.

"Do you really mean it?" he said, offering his friend a way out.

"Yeah, I really mean it. Couldn't you tell from my very elaborate admission? I'm also super embarrassed right now."

"We can talk about it later if you want."

"No."

"Okay."

Changbin looked at Felix, who went back at observing the way the wind made the branches move.

"Boys were never really your thing, were they?" he finally asked.

"Yep. I don't know, I just always blocked, something wasn't right or whatever people say when they don't return the interest other people have for them. But with you it's fine."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I don't know, being with you? The idea of a relationship, of kissing a boy is normal when it's you."

"Normal?" Changbin frowned.

"No! I mean, it's normal when other boys kiss each other, but it never seemed okay when I had some 'what if I liked boys' moments and pictured myself doing it. You see what I mean?" Felix waited for his best friend to nod in understanding before continuing. "But when it's you, it's fine."

The blond boy stopped talking and gathered himself so that he could rest his chin on his knees, his arms holding his legs, and he waited for what Changbin had to say. But Changbin didn't say anything. Instead he let himself fall on his back and laid there, breathing, processing all that this discussion meant. He looked back at the 3 year they'd spent together, at the way he had know himself falling in love and had done absolutely nothing to stop it, and now he faced the fact that, if it wasn't as strong, the attraction was at least mutual. Changbin basked in the thought of what  _ this _ could become, before noticing how small Felix looked, hugging himself as if he was cold.

"Felix? Are you embarrassed?" He asked with a grin.

"No shit! I mean I know this was you confession afternoon and I made it about me but you do realize what I'm admitting right?"

"That I'm the first dude you're attracted to?"

"Yep."

"And you're not at ease with the thought." 

"No, yes! I don't know how to explain it to you."

"You don't have to explain anything to  _ me _ , you just need to figure things out, or accept it because you sound like you are very much aware of what you feel." Changbin breathed out a laugh. "Oh and you're wrong."

"About what?"

"If this afternoon was my 'confession afternoon' then it was already about you." Changbin winked, resting on one arm to look at his best friend, and Felix just stared at him, lips pinched in the effort to keep himself from laughing.

"That was the cheesiest thing I've ever heard you say, and I was your third wheel for 2 whole year." he said.

"Yeah? But it made you blush." 

Felix hid his face in his knees and grumbled. Changbin settled back down and let out a sight.

"You know, if you wanna kiss me, you'll have to do it on your own like the big kid you are."

Felix's head perked up instantly.

"What?!"

"I said what I said" was the last thing Changbin uttered before putting his hands behind his head and closing his eyes.

Felix looked at his best friend relaxed state, laying on the sheet spread on the grass under the sun, and considered the invitation for a little while before deciding that yes, he would like that very much. He  slowly untangled his limbs before turning toward Changbin and lowering himself, bringing their faces closer. Hearing his friend move ma d e Changbin open one eye before  immediately closing it when he saw how close they were. Felix breathed through his nose before gently pressing his lips to Changbin's, who tried his hardest not to ans w er too soon.  _ Take it slow. Give him time. _

Felix retreated and his friend opened his eyes. They locked eyes and Felix kissed him again, more confident this time, and Changbin allowed himself to kiss back with a hand on Felix's cheek. When the blond drew back again, his breath was shaky, and the eldest panicked at bit, realizing all the wrong ways this could go, but Felix spoke before him.

"Okay, so..." he breathed out, sitting straight. "Am I supposed to like it that much?"

Changbin felt himself melt and sat next to him, letting his hands frame the blond's face.

"Believe me, I like it even more." he answered, leaning toward Felix, who met him halfway without hesitation.

Happiness coursed through both of their bodies, both convinced that this was the first stone to build something beautiful. 

Changbin leaned backward, pulling Felix with him so that they could lay next to each other, and they talked like they did so many times before. Only this time they held hands, and Changbin passed each minute praying for it to last, because if Felix had a change of heart, he would loose both his best friend and a huge part of his heart.

  



	2. Chapter 2

It couldn't be possible, Julia couldn't believe it. No, Felix wasn't holding Changbin by his hand and they hadn't just kissed. She refused to believe it even though they were here, right in front of her. When she had yelled those words, those damned words pushing Felix toward Changbin, she hadn't really thought that it would mean the end of their relationship, sha hadn't even considered the fact fact that she could be right.

When her eyes met Changbin's, he almost when in to kiss Felix again, just because he could now, but instead he signaled her to his <strike>boy</strike>friend.

"Julia is right behind us" he said.

"What?" Felix put his phone in his pocket.

"Felix, Julia is right behind us. Say, are you sure that it was _ really _ over between you two ? Because she's starring at us and she looks really surprised. And hurt"

"I mean, I guess yes? I didn't see any other way to interpret her behavior."

"For god sake's Felix! Ever heard of communication?"

"What?! What's wrong?"

"Oh my God, you really are an idiot huh?" Changbin let go of Felix hand. "Call her, meet up, clear things up."

"Huh, Changbin?" said the blond, taken aback by the turn their date was taking.

"I can't date you if you haven't even broke up with your girlfriend Felix ! It has been almost a week since you and I 'got together', and you're telling me now that you didn't even broke up with Julia ? As in had a conversation clearly stating for both of you that your relationship was over ?"

Felix stayed silent for a few seconds.

"I messed up didn't I ?" he said.

"Yeah, yeah you did." Changbin let go of Felix's hand.

Without a word, the blond took out his phone and dialed her number, turning around to catch her eyes when she picked up.

“Hey. I think you and I need to talk.”

“No. It doesn’t look like there is much to say anymore.”

“Julia … Please...”

“I’ll call you when I get home. Goodbye Felix.”

Julia hang up with a lump forming in her throat, and she left, running home without looking back toward Felix. She was hurting, so bad that breathing surprised her. Oh how she loved Felix! How she loved his smile and his laugh, his weird way to run after seeing an insect. Julia looked back to the past months and the sudden urge to slap herself for not seeing the obvious overwhelmed her. Felix and her had been friends before dating, and their relationship fell back into that friendly dynamic months ago. And she didn’t even saw it. Neither did he, it seemed, both convinced that they still loved each other when it had already become one sided. It hurt, it hurt like salt rubbed on a cut, to remember the numerous times Changbin had been Felix’s priority over her. And so Julia cried, tears flowing out of her body like a dam that had been open.

Julia hated the mask she had kept on her eyes, denying all that her instinct told her, denying that Felix’s focus had shifted, forgetting even the fact that he didn’t even seem to realize it.

Then Julia blamed Changbin, because it all came back to him didn’t it? She blamed him for being to kind, to nice, to attractive, to close to Felix, to perfect. She hated him because he had won Felix in the end, won him in a battle for his affection that none of the parts knew about.

But finally, Felix took all of her anger. If only he had faced the question of his feelings, confused boy that he was, if only he had stopped and looked at the situation, and realized what was going on. He could have prevented that, the immense pain that she had to face alone in her room.

She bit the bed sheets out of rage, feeling like throwing up, and her sobs became louder only to catch her mother’s attention, who sat on the bed and calmly listened to her daughter until she fell asleep, exhausted.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed ! Leave a comment, tell me what you think !


End file.
